8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing

#species/literature #status/seedling

Citation

Quotes

Collations

Literature notes

Prompts

Welcome

Hello there!

My name is Dave Ursillo, and I'm the founder of The Literati Writers. It's a pleasure to meet you!

And thank you for signing up to receive The 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing.

This free program is the synthesis of my work with /The Literati Writers,/ my private membership online writers' group that helps conscientious writers of all levels write more, write better, and fall in love with their writing journeys.

Over the next 8 days, I'll be sending you 8 tenets of happier, healthier writing: the best tips, advice and core philosophy that I've built right into the structure of the year-round service I provide within The Literati Writers.

So, who am I to teach you this?

I'm a lifelong writer who has writing to thank for changing (and possibly saving) his life. Just over six years ago in my "past life," I was an aspiring presidential speechwriter whose career path after September 11, 2001 took him all the way to the White House. I was an intern at the Council on Environmental Quality in 2008 and by 2009, I was an aide to a gubernatorial candidate.

While the future seemed bright, inside I was falling apart.

I felt so far from my calling to live my best life. I got into public service because I wanted to use my words to serve others, starting right now. I couldn't bear the thought of waiting 5, 10, 15 or 20 years until I was deemed "worthy enough" to start to be a leader in my life and help people.

I fell depressed, was dealing with anxiety attacks and enduring a total crisis of identity.

I ultimately decided to quit my job to dedicate my life to serving the world through writing. I wanted to become an author and a speaker, but most of all just use my writing to help people live their best lives.

Today, more than six years later, I'm now a 10-time author, a creative entrepreneur and a yoga teacher who runs an online writers' group and travels the world on-and-off (13 countries and counting) to teach, explore and write.

Changing my life wasn't easy and it wasn't magic, but it was writing that helps me radically change my outlook and empowered me to serve the world in my own small ways.

That's why I'm so excited to share The 8 Tenets with you.

This program can help you radically change your relationship to written word–a relationship that so many writers struggle with for years and years.

Why do so many writers struggle with their passion? Why is it their calling, at all? If it's something we say we want more of, why does writing cause us stress, anxiety, self-deprecation, guilt, shame and struggle?

The 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing exists to help you reclaim your relationship to written word–and to fall in love with your writing, once and for all.

All you need to do is read the advice in your inbox every day.

One last thing: The 8 Tenets program exists because I really want to help your writing, but if you really find this program valuable, I want you to consider this your official invitation to become a member of my writers' group, The Literati Writers.

That's the other reason why this program exists: if you love The 8 Tenets, I think you will love our writers' group.

What is The Literati Writers?

The Literati Writers is an online writers' group: a year-round service that I founded and operate that exists to help you transform your relationship to writing. We can help you write more consistently (and fall in love with your writing) over the months ahead.

Members are ushered into a private writing site and members' portal where you share your writing, receive weekly writing prompts (if you don't know what to write about, I've got you covered), tons of learning opportunities, live author interviews and so much more.

It's a monthly value of over $300, but you can join our group at just $79/month.

What makes The Literati Writers so unique is that our community exists on a culture of supporting one another, not beating up or breaking each other down. That itself is priceless.

Our creative community is an uplifting, supportive space where you will be seen for who you are and what you desire.

There is no competition, unwarranted criticism or unfair judgment in our writing home–that culture really empowers you to expand beyond your boundaries, write more, experiment, play with creative whims, pour yourself onto the page, and witness your own transformation.

The Literati Writers will help get you committed to your writing through gentle self-accountable, community encouragement, personal support, and invigorating topics on which to write.

Right now, you can enjoy a free 30-day trial period to test things out and see what our community is like as a member. There's no pressure either way:

Claim your free trial month and join The Literati Writers by clicking here.

Otherwise my friend, the offer stands over the next 8 days ahead, so take your time, consider your options, and know that you would be a welcome member of our community.

In the meantime, I'll be in touch within an hour with your first tenet :)

Many thanks, and speak with you soon!

Dave

1st Tenet - How you want your writing journey to feel.

Hey there my friend,

It's Dave Ursillo again, and I'm ready to share the first of your 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing.

Today's tenet will invite you to do just about 20 minutes of personal writing (reflection and exploration) at some point today. You'll learn a Taoist principle that radically changed my outlook in life (and my perspective on writing).

And finally, this tenet will prompt you to deeply consider assigning merit, worth and value on something that matters to you (your writing) through the honest art of feel-based acceptance, instead of mental explanation. Fully giving yourself to your art begins here.

Ready to dive in?

Without further delay, here's your first tenet...

Tenet #1: How Do You Want Your Writing Journey to Feel?

Writing is a skill and an art form, but it's also a practice. A journey.

And yet, we live in a culture that wants you to place all the value or worth of anything you do on the outcome.

Just think about the goals you might set for yourself. Chances are good that those goals are oriented towards the outcome: whether or not you think the effort to get there will be "worth it" in the end.

Sure, it makes sense... before you fully commit towards a goal, you question if it will be worth the effort.

Why start something in the first place if the outcome isn't worth it?

Well, here's the problem with that thinking. Outcomes are never guaranteed. And, even the best outcomes that we could imagine–success, wealth, fame, acclaim, followers, accomplishment -- may not result in the things we actually desire. Like simple happiness. Joy. Peace of mind. A sense of fulfillment. Having helped others. Or leaving a legacy of love in our wake.

So basing decisions and actions on the perceived outcomes can really lead us astray.

Just imagine if you're assessing whether or not to start writing your first novel. You love the story. The characters are fascinating and you swear you're starting to hear their voices in your daily life–they're calling you, and you feel called to let them speak through you.

Should you begin to write?

Well, you might not–if you base the decision on outcomes. "Will this novel become a best-seller? Will I be able to quit my job and become a writer full time after I publish it?"

There's always a chance, but those odds might not motivate you to start writing.

Which is a tragedy.

Because that book, that story, those characters were calling to you for reasons beyond outcome.

They were calling you into a journey.

And this is where our first tenet returns:

What if you start to find, integrate, and cultivate more of what you desire most in your life... every single day of your life?

Good feelings. Your values. Your guiding beliefs. The big, soulful desires you carry with you, every day. Imagine finishing more days feeling fulfilled, peaceful, sure-footed, on purpose, and having lived a meaningful existence. Imagine feeling more love, sharing good moments with others and relishing every minute you can–because all that's guaranteed and life is the here and now.

That's what today's tenet is all about:

Making your writing journey it's own reward, every day.

There's an ancient Taoist saying that I adore and strive to live by every day, and it states, "The journey in life is the greatest reward."

Isn't that how you want your journey–the process, the experience, the moments that you're in -- to feel, anyways?

Why shouldn't your writing journey feel the same way?

If you line up enough moments of your journey that feel meaningful, purposeful, aligned, values-driven, rewarding and fulfilling, you're just about guaranteed to feel happier, healthier and more grateful for your journey, all along the way.

This is a Taoist outlook–it's not about pretending "tomorrow will never come so just live it up here and now." It's about challenging the quiet expectations that we all tend to operate from: delay joy, delay happiness, delay choosing yourself -- maybe someday you'll be more ready, more prepared, more deserving, and it'll just appear.

Nonsense, I say.

What we want most in life we need to start acknowledging, accepted, embracing and cultivating–here and now.

What is it that you want in your life?

What is it that you want with your writing?

Consider less about the outcomes–the "someday" promises.

Think about how you want your life's journey to feel, every day.

Consider what you'd love to feel, experience and embrace in your creative journey, every time you sit down to write.

If you're like me, writing promises so much. When we're in a good writing groove, we feel happier, healthier, lighter. Besides, there are dozens of proven mental and emotional benefits to writing. Studies have shown just how powerful a form of catharsis and empowerment this art is–it's not just in our heads.

Everything seems to click when we're writing more, because our writing is an act of communion with the True Self: acknowledging, integrating, yoking, finding wholeness and peace and unity within through deep exploration and the beauty of self-expression.

This is what's possible by writing: you begin to tune into your spiritual side. The "true you."

The one who's underneath all the baggage, labels, titles and nonsense that–while necessary -- tends to cloud up the day-to-day life: all the present moments that, altogether, make up the entire course of our lives.

So let's you and I make a vow to one another:

From this day forward, I vow to make my writing journey it's own reward.

Today, I invite you to consider doing that by spending just 20 minutes of personal writing time–less than a half hour is all you need -- exploring, uncovering and surrendering into this liberating idea.

Here's your writing prompt today:

Ask yourself: "How do I want my writing journey to feel?"

Remove judgment. Don't self-edit. Open your mind, your heart, your soul. Imagine you are a vase full of knowing: ideas, beliefs, perspectives, stories, emotions, thoughts and so much more. Just start to pour. Let it go, and let it flow.

How do you want your journey to feel?

When you make your writing journey a reward in itself, all you need to do on any given day is just enough to achieve that "reward" feeling.

Not "3,000 words of do-or-die pressure."

Not "come up with an idea for an overnight best-seller."

Not "100,000 readers on a viral blog post."

Just the feeling.

Just the journey.

Daily fulfillment as it's own reward, right here and now.

I'll be in touch with your 2nd tenet tomorrow.

Until then, happy writing to you!.

Dave

/PS - My writers' group, The Literati Writers, operates on this core principle: making your creative journey more and more rewarding. By surrounding members in a nurturing environment of positivity, you get weekly writing ideas, monthly interviews to inspire you and so much more. Click here to learn how much this group can help transform your writing, once and for all./

2nd Tenet - Be where you are.

Hey my friend,

It's Dave Ursillo here, ready to share the second of your 8 Tenets for Happier, Healthier Writing.

Tenet #1 prompted you to ask yourself how you want your writing journey to feel. Did you make any discoveries as you explored that idea? Did any key themes, values or beliefs manifest themselves through your words as you expressed on the page?

I hope you found saw some themes emerge from the exercise. Exploring how you want your journey to feel will help you discover a simple way to start living a more rewarding creative journey, starting now. It's a breath of fresh air that gives you good reason to sit down, do any amount of writing and feel really good about it–whether 1 page, 10 minutes, or hours and hours of flow-state.

Today, your second tenet comes directly from one of the most common quips that I hear members of The Literati Writers share when they join my online writers' group.

They say they'd like their writing to be "more consistent."

Which some writers assume means the same thing as, "writing more, period."

But there's a difference there. A subtle one, but it's a big difference.

That difference can really reveal what it is that you desire most with your writing.

"Writing more" might mean quantity of words being written. More words, more pages, more writing published. But being "more consistent" with writing is less about totals of words written, and more about sustainability over time.

If you want to be "more consistent" with your writing, it's not the sheer amount of words that you want "more" of.

It's a long-term, healthy, lasting and sustainable _relationship to writing_that you desire.

The truth is, you only have today to work with: the present moment is the only moment in which you can choose your writing. So, yes, it would be pretty epic to sit down and write 3,000 words over a few hour span (like Stephen King is said to do). But that burden of pressure won't do much good to help you be more consistent with your writing over time.

So what's a writer to do?

How do you make the most of the present moment, but nurture a sustainable, long-term relationship to writing?

That's where Tenet #2 comes in... and here it is...

Tenet #2) Be Where You Are

"Be where you are" is my way of saying, "manage your expectations."

Give yourself full permission to be exactly where you are in your life. With your writing. In your journey. Slow down, breathe deep. Focus yourself presently in this very moment.

This is the only one you have: the only time to choose yourself, to live fully, to breathe, to be unapologetically–and, yes, to write!

And yet, at the same time, if we're constantly burdening ourselves with unrealistic expectations, we have no way of actually developing a long-term, healthy relationship to writing: a relationship that nourishes us through self-examination, self-expression, discovery of our goals and dreams, and sharing stories with others.

This is the problem we encounter when advice around writing and artistry simplistically states, "Just write."

Enormous word-count goals, "write-or-die" pressure or ambitions that we can't possibly achieve in the short-term make writing a anxiety-riddled, pressure-induced monster.

There's no way to make that kind of pressure sustainable over time. We're way more likely to start to finding excuses to avoid writing than submit ourselves to such torturous pressure.

When you're just starting out in your writing journey, the question of "how to write more" seems like a really easy equation. You "just do it." But it's everything that happens before you write that defines your relationship to written word. And, everything that you pour into your writing–energy, intentions and expectations -- will ultimately shape the sustainability of your writing journey.

So, today, just slow down. Let's embrace some patience and manage our expectations.

Remember, there's a big the difference between "writing more" and writing "more consistently."

So, what, is "consistent writing" to you?

Is it being able to sit down in peace and write in your journal for 20 - 30 minutes, every other day or two?

Is it more like a 2- to 3-hour block of writing time, every Sunday morning?

Ask yourself what feels realistic, what feels healthy and nourishing, and, of course, what feels sustainable over time.

Give yourself a helping hand. Managing your expectations is about alleviating the burden of pressure that you're "not doing enough," because, honestly, you're probably guilty of doing way too much already, as it is!

Art, like love, requires space to flourish.

It's okay to not be writing all day, every day (and who would want to do that, anyways? What kind of a "rewarding journey" would that be?).

Instead of shooting for burdensome word-count goals, intend to be in a "state of writing" (whether sitting at your writing desk, brainstorming ideas, note-taking, writing, editing, revising or reading) for a designated amount of time that you can afford to invest in the passion you say you want to do more of.

Make the time. Manage your expectations.

And most of all, be where you are.

It's the only place you can ever be.

Your creative journey is on its way to feeling all the more rewarding.

Your next tip arrives this time tomorrow. Until then, be where you are.

Yours in writing,

Dave

/PS - As a member of The Literati Writers, you'll receive a new creative writing prompt everySunday morning. It's our built-in way of helping you spend some time in writing, just once per week, to nurture your long-term and sustainable relationship to written word. Click here to redeem your FREE 30-day trial offer–see just how much your writing can change in one month./

3rd Tenet - Start with Home.

Hello there my friend,

It's Dave here with the third of your 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing.

So far, we've explored two tenets of happier, healthier writing.

Your first tenet, "how you want your writing journey to feel," was about finding fulfillment and joy in your writing, every day. The second tenet, "be where you are," was about managing expectations and alleviating the burden of pressure to "write more" so that you can instead develop a sustainable, long-term relationship to writing.

The question to consider today is, is your environment supporting your writing desires?

Let's dive in.

Tip #3) Start with Home.

Look around your living space. Your home, your office, anywhere you spend the majority of your time.

Does your living space help support your writing?

Does your environment encourage you to write? Does it support, uplift, motivate or remind you to write?

We all become part of the environments in which we spend most of our time. Every living creative becomes a part of the environment in which it exists. It's how nature, and evolution, work.

And there are mental, emotional and spiritual connections to your physical environment. The mind and heart are affected by our physical surroundings. This tenet today is about intimately examining your physical surroundings and asking yourself if your living space, home, office or other environment is actively encouraging–or discouraging -- your writing from happening.

::If you want to find happier and healthier writing, the most fundamental influence is the physical and emotional environment in which you can be "the writer you want to become."::

Let's start with physical writing space.

Where does your writing happen?

Do you have a designated writing desk? If not, can you easily set one up? Do you have a private, personal space (like an office, or a corner of a bedroom) where you can fully give yourself to your creative passions?

Be honest: do you have any amount of space that feels like it's "fully your own," or are you guilty of giving away all your personal space to others? Where can you treat your writing with professionalism and deep consideration, so you can feel like you're fully honoring your calling?

I'll use myself as an example. ::I have multiple writing desks in my modest 1-bedroom apartment in Warwick, Rhode Island. I like to rotate the places (changing perspectives, changing points-of-view) where I'm writing and working to keep things fresh.::

::As for the home around my desks and writing spaces, I surround myself with my favorite books to use them as passive, subconscious reminders for how I aspire for my writing to become someday. Beyond the books, I have a home that's full of plants, art and color–all to evoke my senses of artistry.::

::This is the environment in which I thrive: in nature, good books, art work and vibrant color.::

What's your ideal environment?

But, I know–you might not be so lucky as to turn your whole home or office into an artist's haven. If you can't do much to change your living space, you can emulate this principle and go even smaller.

Buy yourself a lovely personal journal that feels like it's an artful, experiential representation of your writing–and, better yet, a physical space that reminds you to do some writing, every time you see it.

My favorite journals are Moleskine journals. They're excellent for travel and carrying around. I take my Moleskine with me wherever I go, even to the corner of my yoga mat when I'm practicing (and I usually am writing in it when everyone else is doing their yoga).

You could even make more "space" for your writing on your desktop, mobile phone or tablet by downloading a cloud-based word-processing app (to automatically backup everything you write). I personally use Evernote to help me organize all of my notes, ideas and writings on the fly–it's great because I can jot a note on my phone and then spend more time later with it on my desktop, since they're all organized in the same place.

This is your simple, fundamental tenet today, my friend:

Start with home.

::Explicitly, intentionally help yourself write more and write better by creating a healthier, happier writing environment in the living spaces in which you spend your time. Whether it's a corner of your home, beautifying your office, investing $20 in a new personal journal or setting your gadgets up with more ways to organize your words...::

Cultivate the environment in which the Writer in you can thrive!

See if you can find 2 or 3 ways today in which to help your inner writer find a healthier writing environment.

Help yourself and the writing will help you...

Til next time!

Dave

PS - Speaking of environments, The Literati Writers is designed on this idea: our online home is a private, non-Facebook community online that helps you become more of a writer by spending bits of time every week in our designated writing environment. By showing up in our online home, you help yourself become more of the writer you want to be. Click here to create your members profile and explore our online writing environment for FREE for 30 days.

4th Tenet - When in doubt, just pour.

Hi again my friend,

It's Dave Ursillo here for your fourth of 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing.

We've been laying a vital foundation so far that will help you write more and write better over time.

And yet... have you noticed that I haven't given you a "how to" strategy on writing yet?

Well, that's been intentional. Because ::it's everything elsebefore the writing happens that affects whether or not you write in the first place.::

Of course, the only way to get writing done is to actually write.

But just think of all the considerations that affect whether or not you write...

From simple environmental factors like the space to write (a desk, a journal, etc.), whether you have free time, energy, other commitments like family duties and financial responsibilities nagging at your attention...

There are so many factors that influence whether or not we write.

With members of /The Literati Writers,/ I'm always referring to factors and influences. I call them part of "The Creative Struggle." From bad habits, fears, worries, insecurities to other factors like time, energy and focus, The Creative Struggle is the ongoing, ever-present struggle that we endure when we want to enter a state of writing.

But just because the struggle exists doesn't mean that we have to submit to it, or be intimidated by it.

In our online writing home, we set up a bunch of smart strategies and key practices that guide writers to acknowledging the struggle, surrendering into their writing desires, and discovering happier, healthier writing over time. That's part of what makes our writers' group special.

(You can still redeem that 30-day free trial offer and give our writing community a test spin with no commitment today. Click here to learn more. )

Meanwhile, today, I have a writing strategy for you that can help you write more easily, without slowing yourself down with self-editing, self-judgment or those "What will people think?" concerns.

It's all about letting go and letting flow...

::Tenet #4) When In Doubt, Just Pour.::

"Pouring" onto the page is how I describe the most innate, intimate, personal and self-explorative act of writing. You sit down with a blank page and unload any thought, idea, monologue... anything... whatever words are there in your mind.

If nothing is there? You write that. Put the pen to the paper. Just start tapping away at the keys, even if you're saying, "This is me writing. This is me writing."

Just write. Just pour. Unload, unburden, release whatever is happening inside of you and surrender to it. Let it express itself through you.

Pouring is just that: it's surrendering to fear and letting go of your judgments, expectations and worries.

But, why pouring? What if there's nothing there to be "poured"?

Well, you've heard of writers' block, right?

In my experience working with writers and creatives, it's not the absence of things to say that causes the feeling of writers' block. It's a self-imposed blockage. We're holding back. We're biting our tongues.

And it's in these moments where we really need to get honest with ourselves, open our hearts, and express what we feel called to say.

Even if it's just to ourselves–communing with the True Self, our spiritual nature, the underlying essence of soul or spirit or whatever you might personally call it.

Witness yourself on paper. Pour. Let go.

Most of the time, it's not that we have "nothing to say" that stops us from writing. It's that we've got "too much to say" and just can't figure out where to begin.

In this state of being "too full" with stuff that needs to be said, shared or expressed, we writers will try to rationalize, explain and bring logic to "what we should say first." It only creates more pressure, stress and mental "headiness" around the cathartic act of emotional self-expression.

Pouring gives you full permission to let go.

When in doubt, just pour.

Let it go, let flow.

::Feel what's happening and dictate it. Transcribe what you're experiencing. Be a conduit, and channel::

If you're pent up and haven't expressed yourself authentically and truthfully in a while, imagine yourself like a big jug, full to the brim. There's stuff in there. You've got plenty to say, share, express or offload. You just need to let go and let it flow.

Don't hold yourself back.

Tune into your feel. Desire. Wanting. Sensory perception.

Feel, and respond. Feel, and respond.

Give that full jug a nudge.

Let it spill out and over.

Don't self-edit. Don't judge or critique. Don't try to make revisions or cuts/pastes as you go–that's another side of your brain working, and right now we want to tune into feel.

When you pour yourself onto the page, amazing things can happen: you start to witness physical expressions–external manifestations -- of quiet inner dialogue, ideas, emotions, feelings, senses, and more.

You birth intangible things into physical form–into life.

Witness yourself on that page. See what is trying to express itself THROUGH you, through your writing. You're the conduit through which these words pass. What is emerging?

Still, don't judge it. Just observe it.

This is the simplest, and most direct path, towards getting better with your writing.

When in doubt, just pour.

It's just allowing yourself the space and time to unload, unburden, and develop a kinder (non-judging) relationship to your Self through the ease and release of pouring-writing.

Keep pouring until you feel "empty" or at least, unburdened from feeling so pent up, blocked or stuck.

Until tomorrow my friend, here's to you,

Dave

/PS - In The Literati Writers, you have a private, supportive space with conscientious creatives like you who want to witness your truth–it's the ideal place to pour your words, witness them, and share pieces of your truth with others who fundamentally understand you. Click here to redeem your FREE 30-day trial offer and connect with fellow writers like you./

5th Tenet - Confront what you’re avoiding.

Hello, friend-o!

Yesterday, we explored the art of "pouring" onto the page. It's all about tapping your feel-sense to help the words flow. When you're pouring, you're leaving behind self-judgment, self-editing, and other mental blocks that hold your writing back.

Today, we're getting deeper into the feel-based self-expression.

Better yet, we're starting to face down the very fears that create tension, anxiety and worry about writing... the very topics, ideas and stories that might cause us avoid writing altogether.

But unlike any of our tenets thus far, we're approaching fears and confronting them by using our writing.

This tenet is all about ::unearthing and examining what we're avoiding deep down, because when we come to recognition about what's holding us back, we discover more direction for our writing–and our presence, work and service in the world.::

Tenet #5) Confront What You're Avoiding.

"Avoidance" is what every writer, creative, artist, or self-starter personality encounters when you disregard, procrastinate, delay or find even the most valid of reasons to not do what your heart, soul and instinct tell you that you MUST in order to feel truly rewarded, aligned, integrated and satiated.

In this case, it's the actual writing.

The work. The practice. The ongoing, never-ending journey of self-expression.

When we sit down to write, we're looking in the mirror. It's no wonder why we'd rather avoid staring ourselves directly in the souls some days when it's easier and more comfortable to just skate by and put it off for another day.

I define "Avoidance" as unrealized desire compounded by time.

The longer you go without honoring your desire–the genuine want that you may not be able to rationally explain or logically understand–the heavier the burden of avoidance becomes.

The burden grows heavier and heavier.

The longer you go, the more shame and guilt mount on your conscience. "Why have I started yet? When did I say I was going to do this? Last month? Last YEAR? Geez, what is wrong with me?"

Well, nothing is wrong with you.

You're just stuck in a state of avoidance: the strange-but-true psychological ease, comfort and sureness of a predictable state-of-being. In this case, it's a state of not-writing, not-creating, not-expressing.

What you need to do to flip that script?

Start to confront what you're avoiding.

All it takes is a little dose of gentle confrontation–not even every day, maybe every other day. Or every two days. Or, to begin, one solid 2-3 hour block of dedicated you time where you can sit in a window overlooking a meadow (or lake, or mountain, or back yard, or parking lot) to actually dig into what it is that you're avoiding.

Avoidance turns mole hills into mountainous struggles. A simple curiosity, like a want to journal more–or a tickle to write a poem once in a while -- become into huge, epic, battles with our fears, guilt and shame.

You can gently undo the burden by just taking a small step, one day at a time.

Lao Tzu said, "The journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single step."

Just take one step today.

Confront what you're avoiding.

Until tomorrow, here's to your one step...

Dave

PS - What if you don't know what you're avoiding? You don't need to. Just keep putting pen to paper and use your words to explore your Self, your desires, your needs and your stories. In The Literati Writers, we hold the space for you to do your exploring, guided by gentle accountability and community encouragement. Click here to redeem your FREE 30-day trial offer and spend more of your energy invested in your writing–and your truth.

6th Tenet - Say what you want.

Hey there,

It's Dave Ursillo checking in today and excited to offer you your sixth of 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing.

Thus far, we've covered quite a bit of ground, so let's take a moment to recap. We've dug into the psychology, mental make-up and heart-hesitations that affect whether or not we do our writing. We've explored the art of "pouring" onto the page, and now we're starting to confront the very topics, ideas and feelings that are easier (frictionless, effortless, more comfortable) to avoid.

Yesterday, we discussed how we can use our writing practice to approach and confront what we're avoiding, because that act of exploration will help us understand more of what we desire from our writing–and in life.

Today, we're digging deeper.

Let's kick off the sixth tenet with this honest question:

What do you want?

What do you want most?

Do you squirm, sweat, get a touch nervous or short on breath trying to answer that? Or, maybe, even when you're asked?

The truth is, a lot of us struggle with owning our wanting and desire. In everyday conversations, we frequently avoid even using the word "want." Think of how often you might hear someone else wrap their simple desires, decisions or choices with the word "need" to imply necessity, urgency or priority when they're actually trying to articulate a want.

"I need to go to the gym."

"I need to speak with my sister."

"I need to write."

We're all guilty of using "need" interchangeably with "want," and I think we do that as a self-affirming form of making decisions. We say "need" a lot because it implies urgency, necessity or a sure-fire choice. We tell ourselves (and others) of our "needs" as attempts to direct more energy, attention and effort that way.

If we "need" it, surely it will get done. Right?

No, not really.

Actually, maybe the opposite...

Why do we need to understand, and claim, our wants?

What happens as writers when we confuse needs with wants? How does it affect our relationship to writing?

Your tenet today covers that and more...

Tenet #6) Say What You Want.

Our brains interpret needs and wants very differently. Sometimes consciously, oftentimes subconsciously, "need" triggers different subtle-body and psychological reactions.

"Need" presupposes absolute urgency. Like, "food, water and shelter" sorts of urgency... the most basic, fundamental requirements for survival.

"Needs," by definition, are non-negotiable. So when you say you NEED to go to the gym? You're reaffirming to your brain that this is a stressful, anxiety-dotted necessity–a life or death decision hangs in the balance. When it's actually a desire: to work out, to stretch, to breathe, to burn some calories, to feel more energetic, to invest in your health, etc.

Operating from "need" bases every action and decision on life or death decision making: the fight or flight mechanism of the brain.

It's no wonder why we're so stressed out all the time!

Confusing "need" with "want" as we so commonly do not only stresses us out. It's one reason why so few of us understand what we want at all–let alone, why we want it.

::Wanting is the most basic force for moving our lives. We are desiring creatures. Want facilitates career paths, relationships, and the biggest decisions of our lives. We want to feel good, we want to be in good and loving relation to others around us (family, friends, supportive peers, a community–it's human, it's biological, you can't not want this!).::

Although the Buddhists say that wanting is the cause of all suffering for human beings, I beg to differ: ::selfish wanting creates suffering, but understanding core desires (feeling states of purpose, fulfillment, service, love, joy, peace, etc.) actually help us make decisions and dictate the paths of our lives.::

I really believe in this line of logic from the Hindu text, The Upanishads:

"You are what your deep, driving desire is.

As your desire is, so is your will.

As your will is, so is your deed.

As your deed is, so is your destiny."

::Humans want, but there's a difference between unconscious wanting ("Give me all the Reese's cups!") and conscious desire (I want to write more.).:: It's human to want, and to want to be aligned with our emotions and feelings. In our society, we tend to be so out of touch with feeling that "feeling" anything at all seems strange, foreign, selfish, or even "wrong."

::When you start to say "want," you honor your desires and begin to operate from a place of higher being. Beyond fight or flight. Beyond survival of the fittest. Beyond animal urge and basic necessities.::

::When your actions and choices are guided by desire, you start to cultivate a deeply personal path full of purpose, meaning and self-recognition.::

This writing tenet is one step above and beyond the idea of writing to "confront what you're avoiding."

That strategy is always a good place to begin. When we're avoiding our writing, we need to confront the fears and work through the obstacles, roadblocks and mental-resistance that's stopping us from embracing what we say we want.

But eventually, we need to move beyond that confrontation and into a state of wanting.

::So, explore what you want today.::

::It's easier than you think (and, as always, more about letting go than "thinking it through").::

::Just start writing,::

I want...

I want...

I want...

And keep going until you're absolutely empty.

Surrender to what you desire.

The actions and deeds that follow, await.

Until tomorrow, happy wanting to you,

Dave

PS - Feeling ready to fully "give yourself" to your writing desires? The Literati Writers is here to help. Not only do you receive a FREE 30-day trial membership, you'll also receive our newest writing course, WRITE TO LIVE. It's like the 8 Tenets program, but even better! Click here to redeem your 30-day trial offer and deepen your relationship to writing with ease, peace and joy.

7th Tenet - Take the space you need.

Hello hello again,

It's Dave here again, today with your seventh of 8 Tenets of Happier, Healthier Writing.

How are you enjoying the program thus far? I hope you've found it valuable, informative, thought-provoking and nourishing.

I created this free program to help you fall in love with your writing, once and for all. Writing has meant a lot to me over the years, and I love helping to empower conscientious creatives, self-starters, and all-around lovely souls with this skill set, art form and practice. Writing can really reflect a lot back to us about our true natures and how to live our best lives.

That's also why I created a private membership writers' group, The Literati Writers, as a space where writers can completely commit to their writing passions and envelop themselves in writing lessons, writing prompts/topics, monthly author interviews and the personal support they need to flourish.

I want to remind you that as a member of this 8-day program, you're entitled to a 30-day FREE trial membership of The Literati Writers. Click here now to see what's possible when you become a Literati Writer or to create your free account today.

Otherwise, we have another tenet to dig into!

Tenet #7: Take the Space You Need.

Let's return to a question we've asked before. "How do I do more of what you want to do? And how do I get better at it?"

Conventional wisdom says it's simple.

You just do more of it, of course.

It's a direct, linear answer: just go there. "Just do it."

And that's the typical advice you'll hear when it comes to writing or any art form. People "at the top" say, well kiddo, you've just got to write more. And then, you keep writing. You must write when you don't want to write. You must write when it's hard. You must write when it hurts. Just keep writing, and eventually, you'll make it.

Well, yeah, you have to write if you want to write.

You can't just wait for inspiration to strike–you can't wait for a miracle, or for someone to choose your passion for you. You have to choose yourself, and do it yourself yourself.

Pablo Picasso is attributed with saying, "Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working."

A lot of emerging writers and creatives like to wait for inspiration to find them. Why, it’s because it makes your relationship to writing easy. Lighter. Because there's less commitment and less responsibility.

Here's an analogy:

"Waiting for inspiration to strike" is like hoping to fall in love at first sight. You want everything to line up and boom, it's perfect forever. (And wouldn't that be great!?). But, honestly, isn't that desire just hoping for something that's easy?

We know that relationships take work, investment, responsibility, dedication and so much more.

Well, waiting for inspiration to strike as a writer or artist is like waiting for love at first sight, when deep down, you want a lifelong partner to be there with you, for you–and you, there for him or her.

Waiting for inspiration to strike is not a bona fide relationship to writing.

In writing terms, that's showing up to the page when you might not want to. In my yoga practice, I relate it to showing up to the mat when I sense my practice will feel sluggish, weak, or just plain ol' not good. Part of the relationship to a practice is sitting with it when you don't want to be there.

It's true, but it's not the whole story.

::You do need to put in the work. To hustle, to dedicate yourself, to be committed.::

::But also?::

You have to take the space you need.

::That's the fine, delicate balance of artistry, just like loving relationships.::

::Space is to art what space is to love.::

Space worries us because it reminds us that we're not in control. We fight letting go of loved ones when they're craving some time of independence and solitude because we fear they're never come back. But, ::in practice, space is trust. Space is faith. Space is an extension of our dedication to the ones (and passions) we say we love, because space is nurturing and nourishing.::

So, as a writer, let me be the one to tell you, my friend:

Take the space you need.

Need a day off from writing? Take it.

A week? Maybe a few?

Even a month or two. Take that space.

If it nourishes, if it supports, if it helps you restart the creative process over again, take it.

::The question will always be there if you're "avoiding the writing" or not (remember that devil, Avoidance?) but so long as you're practicing self-awareness, you'll be helping yourself along and nurturing your relationship to self through writing.::

Remember to take the space.

Art needs space, just like love.

Until tomorrow, enjoy the space,

Dave

PS - How do you commit to something while still honoring your space? The Literati Writers maintains a community culture of space, ease, choice and gentle accountability. You'll never feel pressured into ignoring the call to step back and breathe. Discover how you can become a better writer in just 3 months, starting with a FREE 30-day trial membership, by clicking here.

8th Tenet - Retell your writing story.

Hello again, my friend!

It's Dave Ursillo with one more tenet of writing for you. If you can believe it, today I'm sending you your eighth and final of The 8 Tenet of Happier, Healthier Writing.

It's bittersweet, but I'm excited to share this important lesson with you about your "writing story."

Today, we're talking about the stories you tell yourself. Because you really do tell yourself a "writing story." So do I. In fact, we're always telling stories.

::One of the biggest influences on how we live our lives–and the direction our lives take -- revolves around the stories we tell ourselves, from "what we're capable of" to "what we deserve" and more.::

Those are stories.

Stories we choose to tell.

::Our minds tell us that our stories are etched in stone: factual, immovable reflections of the past and present. But in reality, our stories are choices that we're making, whether consciously or subconsciously.::

::As writers, we possess a powerful ability: to change the stories in our heads by dictating the new stories we wish to live using pen and paper.::

Through our art form, we can birth new stories from intangible ideas and thoughts into physical form. ::Writing can show us what stories are holding us back–and, just as well, what stories can ignite us into the lives we've long been meant to live.::

Tenet #8) Retell Your Writing Story.

::What is your writing story? What stories do you tell yourself about your writing? Do you tell yourself that you're a "real" writer? That you're not?::

::What do you tend to tell other people about your relationship to writing?::

We're all telling stories, all the time. It's a trait that's fundamentally human.

And, when I say "stories," think less fairy tale or contrived narrative. ::A story is just how we create context, understanding and relevance around the many facts, details and otherwise random things that are going on at any point in our lives.::

::Relationships, goals, dreams, hardships, plans, memories, the day's To Do list, these are all told in story form.::

As for my writing story, I could tell you that I'm a writer and a yoga teacher, and you might think, "How on earth are those two things related?" Well, things might be a little more clear if I frame up the "story" or narrative to explain....

Now you can probably understand this otherwise random connection I mention between writing and yoga.

::A story is exactly this...::

::...simply knitting the threads of who we are, what we do, what we desire, where we've been... and where we're going.::

And when it comes to the stories of how we perceive ourselves as writers, creatives, hobbyists, aspiring authors, poets, painters, singers, song-writers, or whatever beliefs and desires are close to your heart...

::We tell ourselves stories that shape the reality of our lives.::

We tell others stories too–and those affect the direction of life in the future, too.

How? Just imagine if you reply to this email and tell me,

"Dave, I love what you're saying. But I'm just not a writer. I can't do it. I'm not creative enough, I'll never be able to write like I want to."

(You may be surprised how often I get emails like this.)

In response? I would reflect back to you that this is a story.

You'd only believe this as "fact" because the story has become too close to how you perceive yourself and your abilities. The story has become assumed as "fact" when it's really not.

::Today my friend, I want you to reflect and become aware of the story you tell yourself as a writer.::

::What is your story as writer? An artist? A creative?::

::What stories have you been telling for so long that you've forgotten it's just a narrative, not a fact? What stories have you been telling to keep things safe, cozy, comfortable, or in a state of survival? What stories do you hear yourself telling others about who you are, what you're capable of, what's possible (or not), and what the art of writing is to you?::

::Retell your writing story.::

::Starting today, tell the story you want to embrace.::

::And, here's an invitation for you...::

::Reply to this email and tell me what your writing story is.::

I want to hear it!

You can be honest.

Feel no pressure to reply, but know that this invitation is me telling you that I'm here for you and that I care about helping you discover more of your Self through writing.

::This whole program has revolved around that idea. Tapping your soul, sensing your True Self and unearthing the wealth of what's possible through the art of written word.::

::It's not that writing is magical. It's just a tool like any other that can lead us to ourselves, and to the lives we desire to live more and more fully. For me, it's been a lifetime of difference. By learning how to use my words and use them well, I've discovered a source of confidence, ability, healing and service.::

I look forward to hearing back from you...

In the meantime, shine on, keep writing, breathe deeply and do your dharma, wherever the journey takes you :)

Sincerely yours in writing and beyond,

Dave

/PS - I hope you enjoyed this program! If you want to rewrite your writing story alongside a community of supportive peers–myself included -- there's never been a better time to join The Literati Writers. Click here to redeem your FREE 30-day trial offer, and start to live the writing story that you want the world to be hearing.I hope to see you inside!/

\