For Alain de Botton, it is okay to set expectations for a potential romantic partner. However, for him, a line should be drawn between "enough" and “too much” expectations (like those advocated by Susan Elliot). If there is too much expectations, no one will fit the bill. For Alain, we should find it enough to have at least three things in a relationship:

1. Kindness
2. Vulnerability
3. Understanding

A bond between two people is fulfilling precisely because it is not played out in all practical details of existence.

See also: Love per Botton

References

de Botton, A. (2021, January 13). The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOn9HVQdOGc