Pausing is kindness

Often, I feel like what I have to do in response to another person’s actions is unclear. All I know is that I want to be kind. Since I want to be kind, yet I am uncertain how to act, I often pause and choose inaction for a while. For a long time, I saw this as a weakness. I saw my inability to take immediate action as ambivalence.

Today, however, I have learned to be kinder to myself and see pausing and inaction as the kindest thing I can do to another person as I wait for a clearer path forward. To be clear, there are instances where an immediate action is obvious and almost automatic. For example, when I see someone hurting a child or an animal, I don’t think twice to save that which is suffering.

However, more often than not, the responses needed for situations are nuanced. In these instances, I’ve realized that pausing to evaluate the next best action is the kindest thing I can do, because if I don’t, it is easy for me to do something I would later regret. Sometimes, I would later realize that the pause itself is the answer and that I no longer have to do anything. I have learned the limitations of human efforts and intentions. Whether I act or not, I will always be limited.